The Netflix of Porn: Bellesa Plus

jess' articles Sep 15, 2021

After a recent podcast on ethical porn with the fabulous Jetsetting Jasmine, I was approached by Bellesa Plus, a porn company run by women. I've partnered with them to spread the news about Bellesa Plus and thought I'd share the questions I asked of them before opting into the partnership.

Check out the Q&A below.

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What is Bellesa Plus?

Bellesa Plus, a streaming porn platform, is THE Netflix of Porn. Committed to bridging the gap between mainstream and adult, Bellesa Plus is on a mission to make ethical porn accessible to as many people as possible — by allowing subscribers to choose what price they want to pay for porn.

The mission is to empower women to embrace/ explore/ celebrate their sexuality.

What inspired you to launch Bellesa (Plus)?

The biggest thing we would hear originally when discussing ethical porn, is “why would I pay for porn?”. And to be fair, we kind of understood it. Until very recently, there hadn’t been much conversation around the...

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9 Anal Pleasure Techniques (For Your Fingers & Tongue)

jess' articles Sep 08, 2021

There are no sure-fire techniques (and nothing compares to open communication), but hopefully, these techniques will inspire you to try something new tonight!

A Lotta Hot Air

Lick your lips and open them wide as you breathe warm air over your lover’s pucker. Gently flatten your tongue against the opening and then purse your lips to breathe cooler air over the soft, wet spot you’ve created.

Dear Daisy

Use the soft pad of your thumb (slathered in lube) to trace petals around the pucker as you breathe gently over the wet spot.

Eat Your Heart Out

Use your hands to pry open your lover’s supple butt cheeks and dive in with your lips, nose, and tongue. Slurp, kiss, lick, twirl, and suck away as though you’re diving face-first into a bowl of freshly whipped cream.

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Slip N’ Slide

Slather your hand in lube and slide in a very gentle karate chop-style motion between your honey’s butt cheeks starting at the very top. Once they’re is fully relaxed,...

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Sex Q&A Quickie: How long should sex last & more!

jess' articles q & a Sep 02, 2021

Every day, I receive sex and relationship questions on every platform you can think of. Questions and answers range from the simple (Am I gay if I like anal sex? Of course not.) to 10-paragraph essays outlining detailed relationship issues that span decades and originated before I was born.

From teens to seniors, sex gets people talking and leaves us feeling intensely curious. It can be difficult to manage the volume of questions I receive and even more challenging to answer complex issues in shorthand. I’m rarely able to give a question the time and thoughtfulness it deserves, but since I started the Sex With Dr. Jess Podcast a few years ago, I’ve had the chance to answer hundreds of questions.

The following are questions from podcast listeners from Toronto and beyond.

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What is a good position to have an orgasm for a woman?

Everyone is different, but you might want to try lying on your stomach with your hand underneath your pelvic bone so that you have something to...

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Hotter Oral Tips & Techniques (Clitoris Edition)

jess' articles Aug 23, 2021

I recently contributed to an article about cunnilingus and I’m happy to share my notes on the blog today. Check them out and feel free to share your advice in the comments.

Q: What are a few things you think everyone should know about cunnilingus?

Generally speaking, the more you enjoy yourself, the more your partner will enjoy the experience. Your partner may have received negative messages about their genitals growing up (and into adulthood) and while it’s not your job to undo all of the damaging effects, if you show appreciation and admiration for their vulva, it may help them to relax and be more present. Every vulva is different.womanizer-wow-tech-1mqYa4ajqtU-unsplash

What worked for a previous partner may not work for your current partner(s), so don’t make assumptions. Ask for feedback and follow their lead and guidance. Remember that you can stimulate the internal erectile tissue of the clitoris via the lips. Rub, grind and press against the lips on the outside and you’ll likely stimulate...

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What Canadians Want: Most Searched-For Sex Terms

jess' articles Aug 16, 2021

According to Lovehoney, The Sexual Happiness People, Canadians are into a wide range of activities and props when it comes to sex. The top search terms based on web searches and sales in the Great White North since 2020 are as follows:

General item searches:

  • Dildo
  • Butt Plug
  • We-Vibe (a good Canadian brand)
  • Dildo Moulding Kits
  • Cock Ring

The most searched for body parts include:

  • Nipples
  • Anal
  • Prostate
  • Clit

It’s no surprise that Canadians are searching for dildos, butt plugs and prostates (our Anal Sex  & Prostate Play Episodes consistently rank as our most popular podcast shows), but we were surprised to learn that Canadians are so keen on moulding their own dildos.

How cool and crafty!

The Clone-A-Willy kit is apparently a best-seller, as it allows you to transform your lover’s phallus into a toy — it's the gift that keeps on giving. It comes in multiple colours and even offers the option to create a glow in the dark version.

It makes sense...

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Hot Tips for Vibrator Use

jess' articles Jul 29, 2021

Use sex toys to break your routine and add creativity to your bedroom play. Here are 7 ways to up the pleasure ante with nothing but good vibes. 

1. Roll your bullet vibrator teasingly between your lover’s thighs to allow the vibrations to awaken their nerve endings throughout the entire pelvic region.

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This can prime their body to experience orgasmic sensations far beyond the genitals...when the times comes. Try out the TangoX for the ultimate pleasure! And if you’re new to sex toys and want to try something a bit more affordable, check out the Romp Beat.

2. Add some water-based lube and sweep the tip of your toy over their F-Spot as you breathe warm air over the area.

If they have a penis, the F-Spot is on the underside where the head meets the shaft. It’s the frenulum that attaches the foreskin and if they’re circumcised, you’ll still find a sensitive notch to play with.

If they have a vulva, play with their fourchette, which is the highly...

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5 Awesome Vibes Under $50 + 15 Techniques To Heighten Pleasure

jess' articles Jul 20, 2021

If you’re looking to (re)ignite the spark or simply introduce something new to your bedroom routine, consider one of these vibes that are priced just right and designed to take your pleasure to new heights.

Lovehoney is having a sale and you can save an extra 10% with code DRJESS10!

The Ignite Love Ring (20 function) is the perfect way to shake up your bedroom repertoire without the pressure to overhaul your entire routine. A vibrating ring (worn at the base of the penis) can enhance sensations, offer firmer erections and allow you to prolong the pleasure for both partners. It’s waterproof, rechargeable and made of stretchy, silky-smooth silicone.

Lovehoney Ignite 20 Function Vibrating Love Ring

Tips for heightened pleasure:

  • Wear it during oral for an over-the-top experience.
  • Change positions to allow it to vibrate against your partner’s hottest spots; it they have a clitoris, let them climb on top to add pressure and weight to the vibrations.
  • Change it up mid-game; if you’re new to vibrators, play as you...
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Are Couples Who Gush on Social Media Really Happier?

jess' articles Jun 14, 2021

How social media use affects relationships

Every second Friday, I join CBC’s Here And Now for my new radio column, Love In Uncertain Times. Most recently on the column, we discussed the ways in which social media affects relationships. Check out the notes from the interview below.

How does social media affect real life relationships?

Research suggests that like all experiences, it’s a blend of both positive and negative.

  • On the positive side, social media offers additional sources of social support, connection with like-minded groups, affirm relationship status, source of education, means of documenting memories
  • On the flipside, social media is also associated with unrealistic expectations (e.g. #couplegoals), suspicion & jealousy, conflict, distraction from the present and adverse mental health outcomes

The way we use social media may be reflective of our attachment styles. Research shows that those who are more anxiously attached are more likely to want to...

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Do Soulmates Exist & How Do I Find One?

jess' articles May 29, 2021

Every other Friday, I join Gill Deacon on CBC's Here and Now for our new column, Love In Uncertain Times. Listen via the link at the bottom of this page and check out the text summary below.

1. You say that looking for a soulmate is unrealistic. What do you mean?

From a mathematical standpoint, connecting with your one true soulmate in a world of approximately 7 billion people means that the odds are decisively stacked against you. If we assume that 75% of the population is of dating age and you are only interested in half of them (if you're bisexual your chances are even slimmer), you have a one in 2.625 billion chance of finding the one.

The soulmate myth also suggests that there is someone perfect for you and this is simply not realistic. Nor is the notion that love and commitment sounds like a dream come true. Who wouldn't want a partner who loves them unequivocally? But the reality is that no relationship that is rooted in honesty, equality and respect is truly without...

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7 Tips to Remember When You're Meeting Your Partner's Family For the First Time

jess' articles Nov 21, 2018

If you’re meeting your partner’s family for the first time this holiday season, bear in mind that first impressions matter. Research suggests that we are unlikely to change our view of others from “bad” to “good” — even when their behaviour improves.

I was 20 years old when I met my partner, Brandon. I definitely didn’t make a good first impression on his family and though you’d probably learn something from hearing my shameful story, I’m not quite ready to share it (maybe I’ll do so on an upcoming podcast), so instead, I share a few strategies rooted in research below.

(Yes. This is a case of do as I say, not as I do.)

To make a good impression on your partner’s family:

1. Do a bit of research. Ask your partner for a bit of background with regard to their interests and passions. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in rare plants to be more likable, but showing some interest and asking...

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