Can Dating Apps Affect Your Mental Health?

jess' articles Sep 20, 2018

According to researchers at the University of North Texas, those who use the dating app Tinder report lower levels self-esteem and body image than those who don’t use the app.

Jess joined Jeff and Carolyn to discuss the effects of dating on your self-image and emotional health on The Morning Show. Check out the video and notes below:

1. What did these Tinder researchers find?

This study included 1,044 women and 273 men - mostly undergraduate students. Only ten percent used the app, so the data about lower self-esteem and body image is comparing about 100 women and 27 men who use the app to approximately 900 women and 250 men who do not. This is a relatively small sample size, but the findings suggest that:

a. Men who use Tinder report lower self-esteem.

b. Women and men who use Tinder report higher levels of "body dissatisfaction, body shame, body monitoring, internalization of societal expectations of beauty, comparing oneself physically to others, and reliance on media for...

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The Best Masturbation Tools and Advice for Women

jess' articles May 28, 2018

It’s Masturbation May and the questions about self-pleasure are flooding our inboxes. To learn more, listen to Jess’ interview with Sexologist Megan Stubbs — all about masturbation below.

https://storage.googleapis.com/2mmpodcast/drjess/jess5-8.mp3
 
And check out these recent questions and answers all about solo sex below:

What tips do you have for women who use or want to use their hands to masturbate?

Try these three techniques:

  1. Put a little lube on the palm of your hand and press it against the top of your vulva. Slide your palm downward with firm pressure.
  2. Press your middle finger between your labia and squeeze your legs together gently as you slide your finger up and down.
  3. Curl your index and middle finger just inside the opening of your vagina until you find a rhythm and depth that works for you.

What safety guidelines should women follow if/when masturbating with their hands?

Masturbation is among the safest sex practices and studies suggest that those...

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Stop Planning Your Wedding & Start Planning Your Marriage

jess' articles May 19, 2018

I didn't wake up to watch the Royal Wedding this morning and the more I consider the power and role of the monarchy, the more concerned I grow about its role in social injustice. BUT I have received many questions this week about the supposed "disasters" faced by the bride-to-be and I'm happy to weigh in on the topic. Here are a few thoughts:

Your wedding day is a celebration of your love. The day itself is not a good foundation for a relationship, because it represents only a brief snapshot in time and in many cases, it becomes a performative event.

You need to stop planning your wedding and start planning your relationship. You need to stop worrying about your wedding and start working on your relationship. Considering divorce rates, infidelity rates and marital satisfaction rates that consistently decline over time, you have bigger things to worry about than a loud kid, a drunk relative or an imperfect food spread.

General advice for dealing with so-called...

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How to Put Yourself Back on the Market — Without Going Online!

jess' articles Apr 16, 2018

Sure, online dating sites and apps give those of us looking for love an opportunity to see what’s out there beyond the usual places to meet. But let’s be real: it ain’t for everybody. So here are five expert tips for putting yourself back on the market without having to create the eHarmony profile or master Tinder swiping.

Tip #1: Put your phone away and try to actually notice people

Taking an offline approach to getting back out there shouldn’t be limited to skipping dating sites or apps, but also by making an effort to be more unplugged, period! Such as when you’re getting your morning coffee, out walking the street or passing through public spaces — that sort of thing. At least that’s the opinion of upscale matchmaker and author, Janis Spindel. In a Huffington Post piece, the former fashion executive argues how prospective matches could be anywhere. But if you are frequently busy texting or fiddling around on your phone, you’ll...

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Has Your Partner Developed A Wandering Eye?

jess' articles Mar 19, 2018

If you've noticed your partner is looking a certain way at people, a way that you might be uncomfortable with, how would you handle the situation? As a 'wandering eye' can vary on different levels, one might conclude it really depends on the scenario. Jess answered a handful of questions about wandering eyes. Check out her answers and insight below.

1) Why do those in relationships check out other people in front of their significant other?

We are naturally drawn to beauty and sexual attraction is part of a hard-wired natural human response.

a) How 'normal' is this behaviour?

b) When does this behaviour become a cause for concern?

It’s normal to notice other people, but you have to be cognizant of cultural norms and how your reactions impact those around you. Are you making them uncomfortable? Are you appreciating beauty or objectifying a person?

Checking out other people is a cause for concern if you’re making your partner (or the other person) uncomfortable. If either...

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Dr. Jess' Visit to Desire Resorts for ISM 2018!

jess' articles workshops Feb 27, 2018

I kicked off 2018 in style with a visit to both Desire Riviera Maya Pearl & Desire Riviera Maya — my favourite clothing-optional resorts! I was welcomed by smiling faces, perfect weather and joined by a few hundred new friends from the US, Switzerland, Italy, Canada, Brazil, Mexico and beyond. Check out my uncut Instagram Stories of my trip below and be sure to follow along.

Screen Shot 2018-03-05 at 9.22.55 AM

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Where Do Happy Couples Meet?

jess' articles Feb 15, 2018

With Valentine’s Day still on our minds, we’re reminded that single folks are also looking for love and research shows that the places that they’re finding it are shifting with technology. Jess sat down to discuss several recent surveys that reveal the latest trends in on and offline dating.

Where are happy couples meeting?

According to a survey of 14,000 recently engaged/married readers of TheKnot (a wedding website), 17% met on a dating site or app, 2% met on social media, another 17% were introduced by friends, 15% met in college and 12% met at work. The number who met online continues to increase year-over-year and couples continue to use apps once they’ve settled into the relationship (e.g. to plan the wedding, manage finances, set dates, flirt, and even schedule sex).

Is meeting online a matter of age?

According to Match.com’s Singles In America Survey, Millenials are more likely to date online, but interestingly, this is not their preferred...

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4 Steamy Winter Sex Tips

jess' articles Feb 08, 2018

Whenever I tell people that I’m from Canada, they often conclude that my career path as a sexologist must be related to the cold Canadian winters. It seems that our neighbours to the south assume that we spend the frigid months frolicking beneath the covers in an attempt to stay warm. Unfortunately for many of us, nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, many of us lose interest in sex during the colder months due to chemical changes in the body that diminish both energy levels and sex drive. Couple this with shorter days and plummeting vitamin D levels that impact our mood and you’ve got a chilly recipe for disaster.

Sex Tips to Fight The Winter Blues

This winter, let’s do our best combat the seasonal sex blues by kicking our sex lives into high gear with these winter sex tips:

Spike your warm drinks! Research suggests that booze (in moderation) is actually good for your sex life. Women who drink moderate...

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My Advice for Strengthening & Repairing Relationships

jess' articles Feb 06, 2018

This morning on Global TV's The Morning Show, Jess addressed some more viewer relationship questions with Jeff McArthur. Check out her expanded notes and video below.

The other day I heard you say that if you’re both willing to go to therapy, it’s a good sign for your relationship. But what if my boyfriend refuses to go? Does that mean that we are incompatible and if so, what can I do?

  • You’re not the first person to respond to my statement with the same concern. And I certainly did say that compatibility is a matter of being willing to put in a similar amount of effort (and therapy is one form of putting in effort), but it’s important to note that the way you invest in your relationship may simply be different. You may be more inclined toward working with a therapist and your partner may be more inclined toward working on it in a different way (e.g. workbooks, self-development, non-facilitated conversations as a couple).
  • My best advice is to go to therapy on...
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What Are The Signs When It's Time to Break Up?

Are you and your partner fighting over just about anything these days? Are you noticing too many red flags which leave an unsettling feeling in your stomach? It may be time to call it quits with your significant other. Here are a few signs a relationship has run its course (regardless of gender):

1. Your spouse is hiding money or has set up a “secret” bank account.

They may also change their mailing address for important documents (e.g. bank statements, mortgage statements, life insurance policies) to their work address or relocate these documents away from your home.

people-marital-problems

2. You no longer recall happy memories fondly.

Think back to a fond memory like your first date, an early encounter or your honeymoon. Do you or your partner taint these memories/stories with negative or critical thoughts (e.g. She was late for the wedding as usual, He couldn’t even relax on our honeymoon)? If so, it’s likely that you need to work on your affection and kindness toward one...

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