Same Sex Marriage

sex news May 26, 2009

This is a short post, but an important one.

The California Supreme Court upheld a ban on same-sex marriage earlier today as an affront on human rights. If you're interested in equality, sexual diversity and/or universal rights, please check out www.equalitymatters.org

The denial of marriage to same-sex couples has far reaching practical impacts including limitations on tax, family, property, health and employment rights. Equality Matters outlines 1138 federal rights and benefits refused to LGTBQ people by extension of the marriage ban and tells the stories of people who have been directly and tragically impacted by the denial of fundamental human rights.

Join the protests in the streets and online.

www.equalitymatters.org

www.dayofdecision.wetpaint.com

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Sex Ed. Please!

expert advice May 20, 2009

Could you coach football without ever having seen a game?

Each time I host a workshop that addresses the expansion of sexual repertoire, I'm reminded of the fact that very few of us have had the opportunity to learn about sex through the valuable lens of observation. Sure. Many of us have glanced at (and admired) our reflections in the heat of action in an overhead ceiling mirror and we've all been exposed to a whole bunch of actors (I use this term loosely) having the sexual time of their lives, but how many have actually watched others have sex for educational or erotic purposes? Very few.

And how many people have received any formal training in how to give and receive sexual pleasure? Other cultures teach their children how to pleasure themselves and offer formal instruction to young adults in the art of loving and sexual pleasure. This may sound outlandish, but some of our common sexual practices (too much tequila and some sloppy fumbling around in the dark) aren't exactly...

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Sex Ed. Please!

Could you coach football without ever having seen a game?

Each time I host a workshop that addresses the expansion of sexual repertoire, I'm reminded of the fact that very few of us have had the opportunity to learn about sex through the valuable lens of observation. Sure. Many of us have glanced at (and admired) our reflections in the heat of action in an overhead ceiling mirror and we've all been exposed to a whole bunch of actors (I use this term loosely) having the sexual time of their lives, but how many have actually watched others have sex for educational or erotic purposes? Very few.

And how many people have received any formal training in how to give and receive sexual pleasure? Other cultures teach their children how to pleasure themselves and offer formal instruction to young adults in the art of loving and sexual pleasure. This may sound outlandish, but some of our common sexual practices (too much tequila and some sloppy fumbling around in the dark) aren't exactly...

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The Female Orgasm: Whatā€™s Taking So Long?

expert advice May 13, 2009

This post contains explicit material and is intended for those over the age of 18. Please visit www.sexetc.org if you are not yet 18.

I hear about this concern from both men and women: "It takes her forever to come!"

A well-intentioned male client recently complained to me that despite forty or fifty minutes of hard penile thrusting (ouch!), his wife struggles to reach orgasm. Another friend mentioned that she used to reach orgasm so quickly with her super-hot partner, but lately is taking longer to reach her Niagara Falls-like moment of bliss. Neither of these situations is uncommon.

Lots of women require relaxed, prolonged and varied stimulation to get to the point of no return. And vaginal stimulation is often not enough. Do not be mistaken -- there are also women who reach orgasm in a matter of seconds - some without any genital stimulation at all, and they're the ones wishing their partners would hurry up already. But there seems to be undue pressure on women to reach the...

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Tips for Reaching Female Orgasm

If orgasms are something you enjoy experiencing and would like to experiment with ways to intensify, increase or accelerate sexual response, consider the following:

1. Spend more time on foreplay (vulva kissing, breast caress, erotic massage, sexy talk, etc.) so that you're already at the third stage of sexual response (Plateau) before you engage in the main event (however you choose to define it).

2. Penile-vaginal penetration alone is not usually enough; if you really want to stick with this one activity, consider rubbing your clitoral glans and hood against your partner's pelvic bone as you thrust away. This may be facilitated by closing your legs tightly between your partner's so that you squeeze his shaft against your clitoral glans.

3. Try using your hands to play with the clitoral hood or glans while engaging in other sexual activities (intercourse, oral sex, etc.); you can pull up and down on the hood by manipulating the skin on the pubic mound.

4. Consider playing with...

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The Female Orgasm: What's Taking So Long?

I hear about this concern from both men and women: "It takes her forever to come!"

A well-intentioned male client recently complained to me that despite forty or fifty minutes of hard penile thrusting (ouch!), his wife struggles to reach orgasm. Another friend mentioned that she used to reach orgasm so quickly with her super-hot partner, but lately is taking longer to reach her Niagara Falls-like moment of bliss. Neither of these situations is uncommon.

Lots of women require relaxed, prolonged and varied stimulation to get to the point of no return. And vaginal stimulation is often not enough. Do not be mistaken -- there are also women who reach orgasm in a matter of seconds - some without any genital stimulation at all, and they're the ones wishing their partners would hurry up already. But there seems to be undue pressure on women to reach the heights of ecstasy within a short period of time.

Ladies: whatever your ambitions (faster orgasms, more intense orgasms, multiple orgasms),...

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Couple's Workshop #4: Fun With Fellatio

tips & techniques May 01, 2009

This post is intended for those over the age of 18. If you are not yet 18 years of age, please visit www.sexetc.org

After several days of celebrating, touring and pleasuring the female form, a few men expressed concerns that my work was biased toward female pleasure. No way! But by the end of the Blow Job Workshop, they were singing a very different tune; they retracted their concerns of female-bias and couples left equipped with a wide range of fun sexual techniques to practice, modify and build upon. I share just a few from the Fun With Fellatio session below...

General Tips:

  1. Change positions often to avoid cramping, vary your angle of contact and alter sensations.
  2. Alternate between your hands, lips, tongue, nose, chin, chest and anything else you can think of to avoid tiring and jaw aches.
  3. Use lots of lube. Saliva is great, but a water-based lube can be tasty, long lasting and provide a more slippery, fun surface.
  4. Pay attention to the scrotum (the sac containing the testicles),...
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Fun With Fellatio

Here are a few general tips from the Fun With Fellatio session below...

  • Change positions often to avoid cramping, vary your angle of contact and alter sensations.
  • Alternate between your hands, lips, tongue, nose, chin, chest and anything else you can think of to avoid tiring and jaw aches.
  • Use lots of lube. Saliva is great, but a water-based lube can be tasty, long lasting and provide a more slippery, fun surface.
  • Pay attention to the scrotum (the sac containing the testicles), perineum, thighs and anus if your partner enjoys this type of stimulation.
  • Partners: offer constructive feedback and lots of appreciation to let them know that you love it; if you're uncomfortable expressing how you feel with words, consider facial expressions, gestures and sounds of pleasure.
  • Safer oral sex includes the use of condoms. Practice putting it on with your lips and tongue!

The Tease

  1. Use your lubricated hands, moist lips, wet tongue and/or lubricated chest to softly caress his entire body,...
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Couples Workshop #3: All About Female Pleasure

tips & techniques Apr 28, 2009

The following post is intended for those over the age of 18. If you are not yet 18, please access www.sexualityandu.com for accurate sex information.

This is the workshop for which I received the most thanks from the female attendees. Going down on a woman can be a wonderful source of pleasure for all parties involved and we can all use a few suggestions to improve our repertoire. I list a few tidbits below and welcome your recommendations and feedback. General Suggestions:

  1. Communication is of utmost importance for mutual enjoyment. Ask your partner what she likes and welcome her reactions.
  2. A good partner is eager to offer constructive feedback and show appreciation for her partner's efforts.
  3. Safer sex practices for cunnilingus involve the use of barrier methods such as dental dams.
  4. For increased sensation and pleasure, apply water-based lubricant to both sides of the dental dam.
  5. Consider pleasuring and teasing her entire body before proceeding to her vulva. See my previous post on...
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All About Female Pleasure

This is the workshop for which I received the most thanks from the female attendees. Going down on a woman can be a wonderful source of pleasure for all parties involved and we can all use a few suggestions to improve our repertoire. I list a few tidbits below and welcome your recommendations and feedback.

General Suggestions:

  • Communication is of utmost importance for mutual enjoyment. Ask your partner what she likes and welcome her reactions.
  • A good partner is eager to offer constructive feedback and show appreciation for her partner's efforts.
  • Safer sex practices for cunnilingus involve the use of barrier methods such as dental dams.
  • For increased sensation and pleasure, apply a water-based lubricant to both sides of the dental dam.
  • Consider pleasuring and teasing her entire body before proceeding to her vulva. 

Grooving:

  • Gently run your tongue between the grooves of her outer and inner labia.
  • Alternate your breathing patterns to stimulate her...
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