Most of us at some point in our sexual lives will have experienced, what we may consider to be, an atypical sexual thought or behaviour. But does atypical necessarily mean pathological? Today most sex scientists and therapists believe that only a small portion of atypical sexuality needs to be cordoned off as pathological. In most cases, variant sexual interests are at worst harmless oddities, and at best the spice of life for a relationship. But where do we draw the line?

According to the Diagnostic Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Ed. (DSM V, i.e. the psychiatrist’s bible) sexual interests fall into two categories, those that are normal (normophilic) and those that are anomalous (paraphilic). According to the same source, paraphilias are defined as intense and persistent sexual interests outside of foreplay and genital stimulation with consenting adults. While the definition is broad enough to include hundreds of specific paraphilia’s, the DSM labels only 8, they include...

Vacation sex is just about as hot as it gets. Rivaled only by conjugal visit sex, vacation sex offers the thrill of an escape and the excitement of new surroundings without the cold hard floor of a prison cell or the criminal record. While not everyone has the time or budget to take off to an oceanfront retreat, a weekend escape can work wonders for your love life.

Research suggests that an escape with your lover not only impacts your short-term sex life, but it can help to reignite the flame of passion. By slipping away from your regular routine and reducing the practical restrictions that inhibit your sex life (e.g. screaming kids, work deadlines, household chores), your inhibitions naturally subside leading to exciting and novel experiences and a boost in passion. Moreover, you’re more likely to try something new while on vacation or a mini-escape (e.g. starting a new book, exploring new territory or tasting new foods) and according to self-expansion theory, this partner-supported ...

Of course you can!

The Lifestyle is rooted in social interactions — both online and in-person — so it’s not uncommon for all couples (regardless of whether or not you identify as shy) to feel intimidated by the prospect of meeting, flirting with and pursuing new friendships and connections.

Being shy, however, does not mean that you cannot fully indulge in the swinging experience; with a little guidance and practice, you’ll find your groove and be well on your way to making new connections, cultivating lasting friendships and igniting the sexual spark with other couples in the Lifestyle.

I turned to my friends from PlayboyTV’s Swing (click here for the NSFW link which confirms they are the antitheses of shy!) for their advice for shy folks in the Lifestyle. Here’s what they had to say:

Tammy McCray of pdxsanctuary.com offers the following insight:

“Having our own Lifestyle club has really opened our eyes to how difficult it can be if a couple is shy. Couples should try to cont...

• I recently sat down with Elisa Benson to discuss all things STIs on Cosmopolitan.com's Happy Hour Podcast.  We discuss common STO misconceptions and how you can discuss the topic with your partner. Check out the notes below and click on the image to listen to the full podcast!

  

  How to talk to your partner about getting tested:

  • Start with yourself. Tell them about your testing routine.
  • I get tested every year on my birthday.
  • I was tested 2 months ago. How about you?

  How to tell your partner about an STI:

  • Tell them before you have sex: I want to have sex with you. I have something to tell you first…
  • Don’t apologize. And don’t feel you need to explain to them how you contracted an STI.
  • If you’re inclined, feel free to share a few resources with them, as they may have questions you can’t (or don’t want to) answer on your own.
  • It can help to share the info with friends and other trusted support sources to practice opening up and destroying the stigma surrounding STIs.
  ...

Too much of a good thing may be wonderful, but when it comes to sex, taking a hiatus can be good for you relationship and sex life!

Read through some of the benefits of temporarily abstaining from sex to decide if now might be a good time to take a vacation from sex:

Benefit #1: A boost in libido

Science suggests that a sex fast can enhance sexual desire. When the brain and body lack specific stimuli, we tend to seek new sources of stimulation. The sexually-specific sensory deprivation experienced during a sex hiatus can help to fuel spontaneous sexual desire, which doesn’t tend to exist in abundance for many of us in long term relationships; we tend to experience desire after we’re aroused as opposed to spontaneously. Though you’re perfectly normal if you don’t experience spontaneous sexual desire, you can cultivate this experience via a nonpermanent break from sex.

Benefit #2: An Increase in Affection

As you take a break from your usual sexual routine, you’re likely to seek ne...

Enhancing your sex life and reigniting the spark does not require a drastic overhaul of your lifestyle. Simple changes can produce immediate rewards, so pick one from this list of strategies and get started today. Once you’ve changed one habit or implemented one strategy for a week, add another until you’ve completed each item on the list.

Keep us posted on your progress. We love to hear from you!

1. Do NOT do kegels. Instead, see a Pelvic Floor Physiotherapist who can accurately assess the types of exercises that will benefit you specifically. Kegels are not a one-size-fits-all prescription and, in fact, are contraindicated in some cases. I’ve learned so much from my therapist; she assigned a series of exercises including squats, deep breathing and cat stretches and it has paid off both in and out of the bedroom.

To find a qualified therapist in your area, click here.

2. Ban electronic devices for the last two hours of the day. The light emitted by phones, laptops and tablet dev...

Orgasm: the subjective experience of intense pleasure and release at sexual climax, felt as a sequence of spasms in the genital area that can radiate to other parts of the body. But you don’t really need my Introduction to Human Sexuality textbook definition to know what I’m talking about. I mean we’ve all experienced this euphoric state…right? Not quite actually, in fact, it’s the disparity in orgasm frequency amongst women and men that led to the birth of the famous “orgasm gap”. Countless studies have shown that men report experiencing orgasm during sexual activity far more frequently than women. Early reports have even demonstrated that only 29% of women always experience an orgasm during sex, while 44% of heterosexual men say that their opposite sex partners always experience orgasm. This interesting difference in opinions has a lot to do with the goal-oriented nature men often enter into a sexual experience with.

So what are we the experts doing to respond to the “orgasm gap”?...

From foot fetishes and threesomes to squirting and vampire orgies, rule #34 of the internet, has yet to be disproven: If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.

Despite the fact that there exists a genre of porn for everyone without exception, there is one variety that rises above the rest in popularity: MILF porn. The MILF, which stands for “Mom I’d Like to F*ck” is so sought after, that according to A Billion Wicked Thoughts, “mom” is the most popular search term on the world’s largest adult content site, Pornhub.com.

To help us better understand our erotic fascination with the mother-figure, I enlisted the expertise Dr. Justin Lehmiller, sex educator and author of the popular blog Sex and Psychology. According to Lehmiller, the popularization of MILF porn is not indicative of widespread desire for sex with our mothers.

“MILF is a misnomer. It is just a term that caught on, because it’s short and catchy. It’s not a new genre and the characteristics of MILF porn and fantasie...

The glorious orgasm is a central feature of sex and some might describe it as the ultimate experience of pleasure. However, the paths to orgasm are varied and there is no perfect formula of reaching the big-O. Some women rely on the power of vibrations, while others are more likely to reach climax with a little help from a friendly tongue.

And though a rare few can reach the heights of ecstasy through breast play and fantasy alone, the experience of orgasm can be highly elusive. An estimated ten percent of women have never had one and the vast majority (approximately two-thirds) do not reach orgasm consistently during intercourse alone.

While positive body image, fantasy, reduced stress levels and engagement in a variety of sexual acts are positively correlated with the experience of orgasm, we have a few more specific suggestions designed to help you discover new pathways to bigger, better orgasms:

Running Water

If you have a detachable shower head and have never tried it out as...

We’ve waited all year for summer to roll around and it’s finally here! Take advantage of the beautiful weather and try out these simple sex tips to make it the best season yet!

Explore Hot & Cold Erogenous Zones

As your skin adapts to prolonged periods of heat, your sensitivity can decrease, but a little temperature play can reinvigorate your sensual response. The areas of the skin most sensitive to heat include the fingertips, nose and elbows while the upper lip, chin, nose, chest and fingers are more responsive to cold. Get creative this summer using warm oils, frozen grapes, popsicles or chilled champagne to add some well-timed temperature changes that will awaken your senses in the most erotic of ways.

Switch to Deodorant (as opposed to antiperspirant)

A little sweat can breathe new life into a stale sexual routine, as perspiring involves the secretion of powerful sexual chemicals known as pheromones. Not only do these subtle sexual catalysts send out signals to convey sexual ...