Adults-Only, Clothing-Optional Resort FAQ Part 1

expert advice q & a Oct 30, 2015

As a sexologist, I have one of the best jobs in the world. I am blessed to travel to far away lands, meet with fascinating people and share my adventures with a community of open minded friends. One of the best parts of my job involves working at clothing-optional, adult-only resorts like Desire Riviera Maya and Desire Pearl in Mexico.

Though I have a blast hosting retreats at these resorts, I know that many of my followers are perplexed by the idea of a clothing-optional, erotic-themed vacation. I receive hundreds of questions every month about what really goes down on the beach, at the pool, in the jacuzzi and even in the restaurants. It's clear that people are simultaneously nervous, enticed and sometimes misinformed about the experience, so I've gathered the most frequently asked questions below and asked real-life resort guests to help out with the answers. Enjoy and please feel free to be in touch if you have any other questions!

FAQ: Do I have to be naked? "No, there are a few people who prefer to keep their swimsuit on. I have seen a couple of women with lovely thongs." - Stephanie, Montreal "No, you do not. In fact, you have a mix of naked men, men with swimsuits on, naked women, women with tops and bottoms and women topless. It's all about being comfortable with how you want to be." - Brent & Dani, Atlanta "Remember it's an option & not a requirement. Pool & entertainment staff are required to be dressed at all times so you are never alone if you wish to not go naked." - Brian & Kath, Vancouver "Absolutely not. It is clothing optional and there is no pressure at all." - Sean & Hanna, Toronto

FAQ: Will I be uncomfortable if I decide to wear clothes? "Absolutely not. As stated, there is a mixture of clothed and nude. All depends on the person's comfort and no one cares either way." - Brent & Dani, Atlanta "Maybe, but no one ogles or judges. You will soon find that wearing your smile is more important than a bathing suit." - Stephanie, Montreal

FAQ: What is the difference between clothing optional and nude? "With clothing optional, it's exactly that. You can be as covered as you want or be completely nude. Required nude is just that, everyone is nude." - Brent & Dani, Atlanta “Clothing Optional” means that you can be dressed or nude in designated areas – it’s your choice. Many first timers prefer clothing-optional locations because it gives them a chance to “ease” out of their clothes. At a Nude or Nudist resort you are expected to be out of your clothes completely in the designated areas. Desire Resorts offers a clothing-optional experience." - Desire Resorts

FAQ: Should I bring outfits for every theme night? "This is your vacation, you may have only a couple of outfits you like, bring them along and you will see how you feel. It is a rather delightful ritual to take a shower before dinner, put on some make up and pick a nice dress with shoes you do not get to wear every day. Dolling yourself up for your mate is a pleasure and Desire is all about pleasures. Some theme nights may inspire you more than others but if the fancy strikes, you will find that the resort boutique is very well stocked for last minute purchases." - Stephanie, Montreal "You don’t have to bring outfits for each themed night but it is always fun to dress up and play along so why not!!" - Jesse & Jenny, Mercersburg "On our resort websites you will find a “Nightly Entertainment” tab with all the necessary information regarding our theme nights. We strongly encourage our couples to dress the part, after all how often do you get to play out your fantasies in an uninhibited environment?" - Desire Resorts

FAQ: I don’t look like the people in the ads. Will I be comfortable at Desire? "Big boobs, teeny tiny ones, muscular bodies, round and supple, all body types and all ages are well represented at Desire. Most women come back with a renewed sense of confidence in their bodies." - Stephanie, Montreal "Yes, of course you will be comfortable. There are people of all shapes and sizes and fitness levels. No one is judgmental at all. That is one of the reasons why we love Desire so much. It's the like minded sexy atmosphere and attitude." - Brent & Dani, Atlanta

FAQ: Any advice on starting a conversation with other guests? "Ask if it’s their first time! Works every time :)" - Stephanie, Montreal "Big smiles & wave of the hand to acknowledge, eye contact or a kind compliment can go a long way to making people feel comfortable with you. "Participating in day time activities in and around the pool is also a nice ice breaker. Arriving early for the evening entertainment and complimenting others on their outfits is a great way to get chatting. It's easy to make fast friends at Desire Resorts as most guests are friendly & outgoing." - Brian & Kath, Vancouver "Take the initiative and go introduce yourselves to other couples. Remember this is no different from any other introduction. “Hi, how are you? I’m (John), and this is my wife (Jill).” It is also very comfortable to ask people where they are from, or how long have they been involved in the LS, etc. A big no, no, is starting off the conversation talking about sex. Let your conversation flow naturally." - Desire Resorts

brent and dani

FAQ: Are there any rules I should be aware of? "No means no. Respect is of the utmost importance." - Stephanie, Montreal "Yes the posted rules on the website, are part of your check-in package and located at key places around the resort. Besides the published rules we have some others. #1 for us is the don't be a creeper by staring, leering, gawking or pointing. Go ahead and appreciate the lovely bodies you are surrounded by but try to contain your enthusiasm.#2 for us "only yes means yes". #3 is make no assumptions & have no expectations of us to be playful with you if you see us that way with others. It's not open season for all & we are very selective in who we have extra fun with." - Brian & Kath, Vancouver "The event staff is really good at giving you any rules if there are any, and if you are playing the pool games. The obvious rule is respect. Don’t do something to someone that you would not want done to yourself." - Jesse & Jenny, Mercersburg "So that all guests may fully enjoy their Desire Resort experience, we ask you to respect the following guidelines:

  • Photos with cameras, cellphones or videotaping in public areas is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.
  • Please refrain from overt sexual activities in public areas.
  • Please treat all guests with utmost respect, and remember the Golden Rule: "NO" means "NO."
  • Due to the nature of our resort, our Jacuzzi Lounge & Sin Room are couples-only areas.
  • Appropriate attire is required in all restaurants." - Desire Resorts

FAQ: What if I am on my period? "No big deal. My wife has a diaphram that she fits over her cervix and it's like a "cork"...LOL...nothing gets out. Just used feminine products to protect no leakage and wear bikini bottoms." - Brent & Dani, Atlanta "Not a problem and there are a variety of solutions available to stay active in & around the pool or hot tub. Trust us as this happens almost every time we travel. Soft cups from softcup.com or something comparable is an effective solution. The resort store has a variety of feminine protection for those who arrive without." - Brian & Kath, Vancouver "Since the resort is a clothing optional resort, it is perfectly normal to see women walking around in a bathing suit or just with their bottoms on." - Jesse & Jenny, Mercersburg "My girlfriend taught me a trick for tampon users: Cut the string so that it doesn't hang out and then you can rock out naked even when you're on your period!" Dr. Jess

Continue to Part 2 here...

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