How to Touch a Woman: Part 1

Clients are often looking for sure-fire ways to bring their partners to mind-blowing, earth-shattering orgasms. And though a quick survey of women's and men's magazine covers may suggest otherwise, there are no guaranteed tricks that will work each and every time for each and every person.

Each person's body is unique and our erogenous zones vary not only from person to person but from day to day. What works on Monday afternoon in the backseat of your car may do nothing for you on a Saturday night after enjoying a bottle of wine in front of a flickering fireplace. And it goes without saying that while one partner may scream with joy at nice lubed finger in the bum, the same move might send another partner screaming and running for the hills.

Having said that, part of my work as a sexologist involves sharing techniques to help clients get started on their own journey of exploration and experimentation. Here are a few thoughts to inspire your own sexual voyage across the beautiful female form.

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1. Start Slowly. Touch, caress, lick, blow on and rub the entire body.

Take your time to enjoy the entire surface of her body including her head, neck, shoulders, back, arms, elbows, hands, hips, legs and toes. Try avoiding the breasts, genitals and other sensitive areas (that vary from woman to woman) to build up intensity. You can use your fingers, hair, tongue, lips and any other body part you can dream up to offer a slow, sensual caress. You might want to start from the crown of her head and work your way toward her genitals. Then move down to the tip of her toes and work your way back up to the midsection.

2. Tease a little.

As you work across her entire body, gently breathe or brush against her sensitive parts without offering any significant pressure or contact. Let her ache for you to touch those sweet spots as the tension builds and blood continues to rush to the surface of her skin. Take your time.

3. Love the vulva.

When the time comes to touch between her legs, avoid penetration for a while. The vulva is a very sensitive area that is designed for pleasure and it is not necessary (and not always desirable) to put a finger in the vagina to work her up. Try gently rubbing your thumbs up and down her inner and outer labia. Use lots of lube and a smooth, soft stroke. Increase pressure slowly according to her response.

Flex your palm and fingers to create a mock tongue with your hand and lube it up generously. Move your wet hand like a tongue to mimic licking the outside of the vulva and pubic mound. Use your breath on the wet areas to cool and warm the surface.

Whatever your approach, make sure you communicate with your partner to make sure she is comfortable throughout the process. Encourage her to express her pleasure and convey the well-deserved appreciation for your time and care. Have fun and always practice safer sex.

In Part 2, we'll explore more ways to touch the vulva and intensify orgasms.