Does Size Matter?

Happier Couples

Does Size Matter?

42:06

 

What’s really average when it comes to penis size and does it really matter? How do we get over our hang ups around size so that we can all feel confident in our bodies? Should you use certain positions according to size? And are condoms really one-size-fits-all? Jess and Brandon share their perspectives and are joined by Milla Impola  of ONE condoms.

Milla Impola is the Director of Marketing at ONE® Condoms, a brand of premium condoms and lubricants. ONE® is passionate about sexual health education and innovation. ONE® also launched the myONE® brand of 60 condom sizes. Knowing proper condom fit is key for pleasure and confidence in your condom, myONE helps resolve issues such as condom slippage, squeezing, and erection loss due to condoms being too tight or small. All ONE Condoms are vegan, non-GMO, made from natural rubber latex, and without any harmful chemicals.

Follow One Condoms Instagram and Twitter to stay up to date with all things condom.

And just a reminder! Adam & Eve has restarted the discount code DRJESS for 50% off  for almost any items in the store PLUS free shipping. Take this opportunity to save and try something new tonight! And highly recommend a Penis Ring, We-Vibe Pivot, to enhance the penis.

If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible.

And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher!

Rough Transcript:

This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Does size matter?

00:00:05 - 00:05:07

You're listening to the sax with dr jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex just podcast. I'm your co host brandon. Wear here with my always. Lovely other half. Who's trying to trip me up today on the intro. Not no. we're gonna talk penises there you go. We've been talking erections for the last few weeks and today we're gonna talk penis size because i get so many questions about pena size and they all start with dear mom or something like that and then they tell me their size sometimes they tell me how often they masturbate. And honestly you're all just fine like really you're just fine. Whatever measurement they send however many times a day or weekday masturbate. They're gonna be just fine. That could be the whole thing. That's the ted talk. Yeah you're fine okay. So we're going to be talking today about both penis size and condoms size and we're going to be how to properly fit a condom with milan. Poll from one condoms. I think is a really important conversation. I've learned a lot from her over the years. But i wanted you here to begin with to talk about your penis. Great grace okay. When did you become aware of the size of your penis or concerned about it. Why are you laughing okay. So i'm sorry. When did i become aware of the size of my penis. Start thinking about it. Did you do you even care. Probably started paying more attention to it when i was in or like the size not paying attention to. I paid attention to it a lot. Let me tell you. But i started paying more attention to size and perhaps being impacted by this intense desire or need to have a gigantic penis when i was in middle school. So what grades. Maybe like six through eight or maybe create five. You started just hearing about it and whether you knew why you were saying it like it started just becoming a thing that you said probably more middle school i did you say which just talking about this. About how big your penis was or how just talking more about it. Like i'm trying to remember. Is it more like ingest. Probably in maybe maybe. I'm a late bloomer. Maybe it was great seven an eight. You know talking to girls more feeling my body learning new parts right touching myself okay. So that takes us back a long time ago and then they. How did you feel throughout high school. Maybe throughout college in your early adulthood. Philip needed to have a beer peanuts all the time like. That's the bottom line. everyone all we. I mean we joke around about it and unless somebody has a massive pinas in which case. They're supposed to be showing everybody all the time that would happen. No i think back to when you and i spent time in jamaica when we were there fifteen twenty years ago spring break i remember. There was a t shirt contest and then there was the equivalent for for men not wet. Willie was called the wet willy. But there was that you didn't. They didn't pull it out. There was a woman who volunteered to gauge the size. It was you remember. One of my jobs was throwing water on the contestants. Oh my gosh the things we did we did. But i specifically remember that contest because there was a woman who volunteered. She went up and she looked down the pants. O of the guys and then she picked out a winner. That's so funny. Because i would have been there one hundred percent and i don't even a. You're not even jogging my memory at all. I don't remember at all. I think. I remember it because it was there was of course. The quintessential wet t shirt contest at spring break but the fact that there was a wet willy. Content is just the one other conscious that i remember but going back to my point. It was the idea that if you've got a big penis you're supposed to let everybody now and then as a guy you're supposed to. It's this idea that you tell everyone that you have or the focus is that you tell everyone that you have a really big penis but then you never show anyone. It's not what you're saying. Hey man your best friend or hey so and so come and look at my penis and look how big it is but you always talk about it. So there's always the focus on it. Is that for people with penises. 'cause i don't recall that being like a topic of conversation growing up you know. My my friends mostly had penises. And they didn't. I don't remember them talking about it. In that same way i mean it could have just been my surrounding who i grew up with and you know the people that we joked around with like a hockey saying locker. Because there's actually this. Study is a study by annabelle chan and they looked at data from forty three different countries with men. Eighteen seventy six years old and what they found was that they're actually more concerned about. Their penis is outside of the bedroom so they called it locker room syndrome. So they're kind of more concerned about what other people think as opposed to actually concerned about how pena size affects sexual function or sexual performance or how they're perceived sexually all. I would definitely agree with that. I remember the first time playing hockey and showering in the in the locker room and being so uncomfortable about it.

00:05:07 - 00:10:05

But i played on a competitive team and we traveled and your parents eventually the point where they saying. I don't want this stinky thirteen year old kid in my car on a wednesday night for two hours reading. Take a shower after the game So then you started taking a shower and it was just this awkwardness where you're in the room. And you know perhaps some of the guy and again. This is a long time ago. Some of the guys which our some of them wouldn't and there's that initial kind of discomfort of getting naked in front of other men and again. This is a while ago. And i feel very differently now and then the funny thing is is. I remember my grandfather growing up. Who was very quote unquote macho and and all those sorts of things saying to me. One day when i- cowered in a room getting changed putting on a swimsuit. He's like we all have the same stuff he's he said. Just no one's focusing on it. Just get changed. It's not a big deal. You don't have to go hide in the corner but it's this weird being pulled in different directions. You're supposed to cover up all the time you're not supposed to show it. You're supposed to talk about it. You're supposed to say how big it like. These silly games that we play and again this is just reflecting on my experience. Grew up playing hockey and being a kid and the whole peanuts conundrum. If you will yeah so okay. So that's your experience when you're younger where you now. I'd be lying if i said i wasn't affected by societies focus on penis size. Do you think i want you to have bigger penis. No i don't so am i wrong. No no not at all. So you know that. I don't obviously I've always joked about taking a little off of it and more importantly does that even matter. But i'd be lying. If i said i certainly don't care as much now but socially we still joke about it. We are still told or at least you know in the media i think of it. You're still being told you should have a big penis. And it's a bit of a status thing isn't it so some of these things that are really irrelevant to your quality of life like being tall or short or slim or whatever it is people are trying to be doesn't affect the person that you are doesn't necessarily affect the way you love and relate to other people which is i think a big part of having a fulfilling life but it's just this idea that you know i don't know if i'm super successful or if i'm famous or if i amass wealth or if i have a big penis or if i'm conventionally beautiful in one specific way that it's going to improve your life satisfaction and and it's just interesting to me that what you use your penis for so i presume there are two things. Use your penis for hammering meth. Yeah no so you use it to p and the sizes irrelevant. Use it for sexual pleasure. And i don't want to see the sizes irrelevant but certainly bigger isn't necessarily better like when we think about size mattering. I think it matters in terms of finding a fit that works And of course you can change angle to change fit and i think that that bigger penis more affords you bragging rights in the locker room but isn't necessarily a blessing in the bedroom rubber wherever you're having sex and it depends with whom you're having sex so if you're a for example a you're you're having sex primarily with a vagina. Will i guess just with china wall. There's other whole there's other offices but the vaginal canals not very long right. It's really not long now. Some people have longer vaginas. Some people have shorter vaginas. And i do think it's interesting. Sometimes when folks with vaginas talk about big dicks small. And i'm like well. Why don't we talk about your vaginal link. The why are we not trying to shame. One more thing on people with china's but when we create shame around pena size. I wonder for also speaking about ourselves and so received another question this week so we get so many these questions but this one was a little bit more detailed and it came over lincoln. And this person says i'm a twenty point soar. I'm not gonna read the whole thing. Because there's some identifying details. I'm a twenty two year old. Just got out of a relationship have been feeling fear though getting back out there meeting new women and enjoying my dating life because of what they might think of my penis size and it to me. First of all of this person you are just fine. You're gonna be fine. Go on to read the rest of it. I'm currently around four point. Eight to five point three inches iraq and i know in my previous relationship a great sex life. She was very uplifting positive loving toward my size however entering the dating world. Now i feel fear. And i don't like it and i think it sucks that we feel this way that it can hold us back. I'd like to think i'm an attractive guy. I'm into personal development into fitness. And how successful in my business so professionally. Personally i do feel like i'm a catch. I'm glad you feel that way. That's awesome and i have a lot to offer. But i've just taken a hit in the confidence regarding my size and what women will think. So they ask me. How do you as a woman recommend. Go this fear and enjoy my dating life confidently any recommendations for sex and if you have any info on women enjoying men who are my size please speak to that too so i i will tell you that you're just fine.

00:10:05 - 00:15:00

You sound awesome. Thank you rating in. Know the studies of folks would penises. That were either too. Small overwhelmingly indicate that these anxieties are unfounded. So oftentimes people either underestimate their own size or overestimate perceptions of what normal penis size is because that's definitely falling in the average range. There's nothing that's a very average size so we should talk about. Where you. I mean measuring penises. Because i mean. I think it's You measure from the from the anus opening all the way from the to death and then we do have data on people's satisfaction with their partners size and moose to the data that i've found his hetero centric so focused on women and men but the overwhelming majority like. We're talking over. Eighty five percent of women are thrilled are happy with their penis is but only fifty five percent of men say they're satisfied with their own size and then even when we try to determine and reproduce estimations for average pena size. We get a huge mixed bag of results because of challenges in methodology right who she do the measuring what measurement instrument is most reliable where should the measurement began self measurements of course tend to come in higher than those that are actually conducted by researchers and then. The other piece has to do with showers versus growers right. So shores have larger flaccid penises that expand proportionately less when iraq. And then growers have smaller flaccid penises but they grow a lot more during erection. And of course there's lots of space in between i mean more importantly from a sexual pleasure. Perspective penis is probably is not is not an important factor in terms of sexual pleasure for the person with the penis or for their partner right. There are so many other factors involved too just in terms of pleasure. What was the percentage of women in the in that study. that were pleased or satisfied with their partner's penis. I think it's over eighty five percent and so in the study. Only six percent of women only six percent rate their partner's penis size as small and even within that six percent. I would really like to move the conversation away from small bad big better because just again when it comes to pleasure like i'll speak as someone with taurus. I really don't care about the penis. In all the people i've spoken to thousands and thousands of people let's say of heard hundreds of stories but pena size. The vast majority are complaining about being too big not being too small. it's interesting to hear those stats though. Because i think of toxic masculinity i think that eighty five percent of the in heterosexual relationships in this study that eighty five percent. Plus of the women are satisfied but fifty five percent of the men are so where we getting these messages that tell us. We need bigger all the time. It's just really interesting again. I feel uncomfortable. Why because the side other men have told me that. I need to have a bigger penis because certain politicians have acquitted pena size with you know being stronger more vera like being a better human being. Just it's a really interesting topic to dive into. Yeah and there's i think it has more to do with social status than sexual relevance riley. He's just kind of irrelevant. Like i think about for me personally. I just need my like. I don't need a big pena's like yeah. It can feel good to feel folder. There's also lots of ways to feel full just in the room is there somewhere Sometimes i get questions about you. Know what positions should use with a smaller peanuts. And i do want to say that. I don't really think you need to change anything including positions according to your size unless your partner finds something more comfortable or uncomfortable. So i think a lot of people assume that. Oh if i have a smaller peanuts. I need to get a deeper position. But that really isn't necessarily the case because shallower penetration can be more pleasurable in many cases for several reasons. So i'm talking a lot about the vagina. Because that's what i've got but for folks who have about. I mean i have about to. But i don't have a prostate the prostate also. Isn't you know eight inches. i'm in there. All of these spots are very close to the outside. If not on the outside so you know there are definitely positions. You can try if you want to play with a shorter peanuts and maybe wanted to feel deeper or improve the sensation. Like i talk about the reverse ride position so the person with the penis lies on their back with their knees bent and their partners sits on top of them facing their feet. And if the so i know they often call it reverse cowgirl but it just trying to keep it more gender inclusive but if the partner on the bottom bends their legs it gives the partner on top kind of something to grind against and leaned against so that can feel really good. A lap dance position can feel really bad nonverbal. Say that sort of thing there A lap dance position can feel good because you can just sit right down on it.

00:15:00 - 00:20:01

If you want more pressure you can. Of course where a vibrating penis ring that can provide pressure for both of you. I think another really important pieces. If you want shallower penetration which so many of us prefer the not so deep donuts or the oh nut our options to kind of create a little bit of a a block so you can still get that full feeling of thrusting and you don't have to poke the cervix so much you're thinking about well. I mean even the idea that all of those pleasure spots they aren't that deep kind of goes back to the idea that we're taught. I was taught you know deeper harder faster. That's sex that's what it was was very one dimensional and going back to this question so interesting because the person who wrote in had a wonderful sex life with their previous personally and i think myself you're getting back into it if i was getting back into it and i was feeling some nerves getting back into the scene. Why not make it all about your partner at first like why this would be my strategy. Rather than focusing in on. Maybe what. I'm most concerned about. Ib focusing in my partner and just work them up beyond like just beyond their wildest dreams right or even just enjoy it like. I just don't wanna hear what you're saying. Absolutely and i appreciate it. I don't want to reinforce the notion that you must make up for something that you perceived as lacking because you're literally lacking nothing i agree on. I'm just thinking strategy. But i agree with you. I think you're worried about something. You probably have nothing to worry about. Yes exactly yeah. Let's also not downplay the fact that it's still present absolutely no. You're you're really right that they're still the sociocultural pressure. There's all the jokes that you've been talking about in their ingrained. And the reason i asked about your early experiences is unlike how long has been going on. And it's basically since you a child so it was a kid and even now. I'm thinking to this conversation. I made a joke about where you measure from your remain and the focal point. They're being bigger is better right right like even in during this conversation. I'm still going there. Would you ever be like if you were dating or anything is something that would be on your mind. League was on your mind with me. I mean we didn't date straight to the penis straight. Yeah i would again. I'd be lying if i said i. It wasn't something that would definitely crossed my mind. So how do you get over number. one. I don't have to but again i. I feel like it's about finding the partner. Where hopefully all of the other things are like everything's important. It's not the importance of but one thing if i'm really if somebody's just boiling it down to my penis size. Probably don't want to be with you anyways. Yeah at to his extra inches. Just do nothing to compensate for what might be lacking in skill and creativity and care and the fact that this person even wrote in and took the time says that they're you know considering the perspective of their partner. They want to be accepted. They wanna be loved which is as universal desire. So i hope this helps just a little bit to remind you that first of all. You're perfectly fine. All of your penises are fine. I think what's important is is getting comfortable or neutral with your body and kind of accepting and using it like the more pleasure you get from your penis so brandon you had mentioned will focus on your partner and working them up wall. My thing is what how about just focusing on yourself like as just as a flip side. I'm not saying there's one right way to do this. But i really do hope that you can focus on your own pleasure and not worry about penis size. It's it's not a thing that i really pay attention to. I do know that. There's a lot of songs and storylines in popular. Culture arcs that focus on size. And so i know it's really hard to get away from it. I think it does come back to how you're perceived right. We talked a little bit about your social status. And and again we acquaintance. You may not be this. But you've got a big penis like really like why does any of this matter at the end of the day. Yeah and you know. I'm probably guilty to like you know when you hear a really fast car. That's annoying allowed. People will joke like oh. He's doing that to make up for his small penis. And we just to get away from that like we've had so much conversation around a you know started with body. Positively moved into body neutrality and body liberation. Four women and folks with volvos with volvos. But i think we need to also have that for penises and people with penises and let you feel really good in your body's because you absolutely deserve to so if there's something you can do to good about yourself and your body today maybe it's masturbating. Maybe it's looking in the mirror. Maybe it's focusing on your positive qualities like this person did in the email like what makes you an awesome person. And that's actually something. I often start within some of my workshops with couples. I asked them to share. What makes them a great partner. And what makes their partner great partner and they're also good at sharing why their partner is great but they struggle to acknowledge what's really great about themselves. And so i think maybe that's an exercise to try. Like what makes you great. What makes you a great partner. What makes you good lover you know. Are you the type of love or you're looking for. I don't know what makes you a good lover. Yeah you're putting me on the spot. I don't know. I think i i listen. I feel like i listened to what you like. I feel like i. I do want to give you the things and i feel like i pay attention to it when you're responding a certain way when we're having sex.

00:20:01 - 00:25:03

I i feel like okay. You let your liking this. So i feel that flexibility or not not physical flexibility but that willingness to do is not just about me. it's again it's about me but it's also about you. And i feel like picking up on those cues mix youth. Think that i'm a better lover than i am. No i do notice that like anything. I ask you like if i even just like dropped. Something gently i know. You're gonna try and do it. Which i you're almost every for me. I give a blow job. I kind of feel like i'm up for anything. I agree. I mean i think i yes i would agree but a i also will admit and maybe i'm doing this because i'm uncomfortable saying what makes me good so i have to like put a negative spin on so maybe i should stop myself. I'm going. I do find like i don't put as much energy as i could your immune when you're you're like no no no keep stop. Don't stop this me. Oh you mean one. Oh yeah. I'm much. But i think you like that himself. I do one hundred percent by just find it amusing when you're like i'm an i'm good. I'm done we're done. He also got some questions about. I get a lot of questions about how to make your penis bigger. And of course there are so many pills and creams and machines. That advertise a way to improve or i guess increase penis size but for the most part they don't really work so i had asked a urologist. And what they had told me. Is that if you want to. Bigger sometimes a little bit of weight loss can help but obviously don't want to be encouraging weight loss and ahead asked to the urologist surgeries as well and what he told me is that surgeries are really a last resort. Because they're high risk they can really only offer minimal improvements and his data shows that people are generally dissatisfied with the cosmetic results post op. Did busey you wanna true. Mcgrath's around the tree to right just makes it. Yeah if it matters to you and listen. I don't want to also say hey. Peanut size doesn't matter like if it matters to you. That's okay if you have a penis or sleep with the penis and there's something that feels good for you. That's okay but i think just getting hung up on it as this kind of soul feature virility and sexual performances. What i want to try and get away from and also to celebrate all sorts of penises including small penises. And i don't know like as i've said many times. My view of beauty and sexual attraction has just changed so much over the years. It's not all the same thing so You know we've talked about penis size but it's definitely time to talk about condom size. Because i i was getting it wrong around condoms for years and i've learned so much from our guest me. La research suggests that people with penises. Avoid condoms because they feel they don't fit or they find them uncomfortable and common complaints include that the condom is too loose. It's too long. it's too tight. it's too short. It results in the loss of erection. It feels desensitizing or it impedes orgasm and fitz isn't just about comfort. It can also affect safety. Research also shows that those who wear condoms don't fit are more likely to report slippage and breakage and one indiana university study found that fitted condoms broke half as often as one size fits all condoms joining me to discuss. Why size matters when it comes to. Condoms is mula in pola marketing communications manager and get the senior size specialist at one condoms. Thanks for being here. Thanks so much for having me now. I didn't know this until very recently but one condoms offers sixty sizes sixty sizes. Yeah and in canada and europe. It's actually sixty six sizes. Okay i need to know why there is a greater variety of canadian canadia. Yeah it's interesting so in the. Us ten different links and nine different girth but then due to the regulations in you and then in canada were allowed to sell one extra width. So a girth your with which were hoping to also bring to the us because there's a lot of demand for it also in the us. There are some thick penises. Yeah there are. So why is there. So much regulation in the size of condoms. I was reading that. The minimum condom allowed length. Used to be six point six nine inches. And now you've made condoms available starting at about four point nine inches. Why is it regulated in terms of size. Yeah it's interesting and even when you look at the sizes of condoms on the market. Even though they could beat slightly shorter most of them are seven and a half inches. That's really long and average is five and a half inches. Okay and people obviously are putting their penises in various places exactly areas spaces. But if we're talking about the vaginal canal it is certainly not seven inches long on average from the entrance to where the surface points in some studies suggest that it's under four inches in an on arouse state. Yeah and most people are not seven and a half inches and it makes a lot of our customers talk about how standard cottam sizes actually make them feel really inadequate because it would make sense if you have something that's standard size. It should probably be somewhat reflective of average size.

00:25:03 - 00:30:05

But it's not really at all interesting so it's sort of the opposite of the fashion industry where things are made so small exactly much smaller than the average size but these are made much longer. Yeah they kind of hoped a long time ago that this would kind of cover as many people as possible right and the regulations really tricky because regulations are set in place by standards body in europe called eyeso- and then the us it's called ast 'em which essentially sets standards for condoms is so. How long should they be. How short should they be. How wide enhanced. How narrow which has to do with the way condoms are tested for safety so if you have a condom one of the tests that they go through as an airburst test for example so it has to hold a certain amount of air economy. That's smaller isn't going to hold that same. Amount of air doesn't mean that it's not an effective condom. It's not going to hold that same amount of air so it took a really long time for these standards bodies to kind of agree with the new standards should be and then those got updated in europe along time ago and they launched in europe in two thousand eleven with actually ninety five sizes which then got pared down to sixty six. We eventually acquired that brand and when we brought it to the us we changed it to my one perfect fit and then now it's the sixty sizes in the us that are sort of allowed with the us standards because it took the us a little bit longer to to get on board the train here. But we're really happy that those standards were updated and took a lot of years of work by researchers to really do that and now essentially allows us to sell the product also to the united states so it so it sounds though it's been a fight for condom variety penis size variety the acknowledgement of that. And and what. I wonder is how do people even begin to measure themselves. Because they're not labeled small medium large extra large extra extra large right and we purposely stay away from any terminology like that because we're trying to make sure that people are comfortable in their own body so we actually use size codes like fifty five or d twenty one so we don't really know what's larger smaller wider and kind of takes a little bit of the awkwardness away. 'cause we're asking for people to do a lot right instead of just going to your local store and buying the fastest thing you can get off the shelf and throwing it on the counter and running out we're asking people to measure themselves and played bingo bingo right just like bras or anything else that size. That would be silly if it came in one size so people can. There's three main different ways that people can measure. 'cause you know options are good which the first is called a fake kit so people printed online or we asked him not to health educators for example to give to clients or customers. Can you repeat what it's called a thicket of fit kit. Sorry i heard fig okay pick. It would make more sense ticket. Yes sounds a little bit nicer. And they measure. The length. And letter codes fully erect. Which is an interesting thing that i get asked. All the time is should i measure harder. Sof how do you use your condoms. Probably win your heart right right. So they measure their length in a letter code like 'em than they measured their girth in number codes. Let's say it's twenty two and then you're an m twenty two and mt twenty two is one specific fit And so could you be a range or not really liking for be. You're thirty four b. Yeah exactly and if you look at the curse for example those have such small differences between all of them that you could technically may be sometimes maybe a little bit tighter or wider. but usually. you're just that one. And what's great is that. We do sample kits so that people can come from their size before they buy. Sometimes people measure wrong. Maybe sometimes you know they just measured it wrong. Were maybe a little bit too eager about their measurements or whatever. It might be so. They can sample before they actually buy. Well i would assume that people overestimate their size and we know from research that when it's self reported the sizes come out much longer. I recall when when i was a high school teacher. The students who often complain that the condoms we gave out were big enough and as a health educator. The old school thing was say look they fit over my arm they stretch and i liked the. You're emphasizing that. Yes it may fit over my arm but it may not always be comfortable exactly having said that. Not every single person's penis is the extra large and folks want to buy the extra large. So how are you addressing the fact that we are so so obsessed with size and that honestly size doesn't matter in the way that we think it does. Yeah and we found that a lot of the people that come looking for this product are people who are very frustrated with existing condoms. They know what it feels like to wear. Condoms that either slips off or feels way too tight so there. They know that if they lied to us about their size. They're going to continue to get something that still doesn't fit so we really found that in terms of what we see is that people don't wanna lie because they they know that they're gonna set something that doesn't fit and when it comes to condoms feeling too small. What a lot of people are reporting is that they're way too tight so condoms are way too long but also wait too tight for a great majority of users so they might try to stand her condom and they kind of feel like oh.

00:30:05 - 00:35:01

This is way too tight. But what's really happening. A lot of people as economists so long that extra latex bunches at the base and it causes almost like a rubber band so it makes the condom feel even tighter and this person is trying to be responsible economies are. They're not trying to lie. That suit tight is a very real ex-pm maybe some people but a lot of people. It's a really real experience. So they're trying to be responsible. They go out and get the extra large condom. That's gonna be a lot longer but not that much wider so for the people who are like since podcast. Imagine like a coke can. It's not gonna feel a longer isn't gonna it's gonna feel even more uncomfortable because you have even more extra latex bunches at the base so that's why really excited that and allows people to select both their length and girth which really helps with that comfort and then people talk to us about. Oh i never realized that a comfortable condom could feel this good. And then i don't have to worry about the condom so much and i'm actually now focused on the sex the sexual health and the pleasure rather than really worrying about. Oh i'm losing my erection because it's so tight or i've to hold onto the content because it's so big you know we're just trying to take away all of that people can actually focus on comfort and pleasure each other or whoever might all be in the room excellent. So that's interesting so oftentimes. If a condom feels too tight. It could be because it's too long. It's bunching at the bottom. Exactly what about if a condom feels as though it's squeezing kind of too tightly overall. Does that mean they need an overall wider condom. Yeah that usually means that. They need an overall wider condom. And if you feel that a condom is bunching up at the bottom. That's also usually when it's that's when it's too long 'cause there's all that extra late texts that instead of like fitting snugly like at like a nice little snug new fence it's just that it's to law so would it be fair to say that most condoms the standard condoms that have been on the market have been too long and oftentimes not white enough correct. Yeah so that's a very common competitive very common complaining interesting because people often talk about how girth matters more than length and they joke about being hung like a cannon do exactly in the end it really is a matter of fit. It's a matter of personal preference like some people want a sinner. Peanut somebody some people really as. I think you know pena sizes often i think a social measure more than pleasure a measure of pleasure. Yeah exactly 'cause. I talked to so many people. I'm in the last two years size specialist. I've talked to hundreds of people about kind of it and their penis size and you hear so much anxiety that when they finally get somebody who they can talk about penis size you hear all this anxiety about penis size. Both on the large emphasizes where they can't find anything that's long enough and it's way too tight and they have direction laws and also on the smaller end where they are holding onto condoms. Because they're too big or too loose so you hear a lot of this anxiety and we're just really happy that we're finally kind of able to address it and really you know say that. Yes like your body's perfect the way that it is and it's the condom. That's been the problem. You're not the problem right. And i imagine it has to lead to a lot of anxiety and anxiety issues in the bedroom of course affect the sexual response cycle. Really whether it's with the ejaculation that occurs more quickly than you would like it to more loss of erection or just simply losing the ability to be in the moment and and have mindful present sex. Exactly imagine if you were running a race and economist so big that your pants were so big that you had to hold onto them like that would really impair performance right or if your shoes were way too tight and they said okay go run a mile now the fastest. You can bright and you're thinking okay. Sure i can maybe do this but it's going to really uncomfortable. I can't wait to take these shoes off and is probably not going to be my best performance that i could have. That's quite the destruction now. I'd like to go back to the size or the fit kit. What does it look like. So how do you measure your length. Is it a like a paper ruler that you print off. Yeah you print it out you cut it out with scissors and then you put it right underneath your erection and one you're fully erect and what the letter that you see above the tip of your penis is the letter that you start out with and then girth and it's a little bit confusing because we also talk about with because condom with is measured in nominal with so sometimes. We'll see that people get confused whether you're supposed to like measure the with at the top across oh as opposed to the circumference. So can we ask people to measure circumference to get the best fit as maybe take that same paper ruler. And you wrap it around your penis correct. And then it's where there's a orange line at the very bottom and then there's a bunch of marks on the left and right side so where that orange line on the bottom matches one of those lines would be your with co. That's so novel and so simple so simple and we also understand that not. Everyone has access to a printer. Or maybe doesn't feel comfortable measuring or printing penis measuring tool at their office. Many people do not have printers.

00:35:01 - 00:40:06

All my neighbors are coming over asking to use the printer. Exactly only need to print. I offer them my fax machine. No kidding i don't have one of those anymore talking the day when we had foxe's they would just keep receiving spam that's amazing advertising so spamming has been around since probably dot of time. They were carving them on rocks. Yeah exactly window coverings. Yeah exactly so the option other than printing off for his aren't like me and they're not still living in the dark ages with a printer. Correct so we have. You can also use a measuring tape. Oh unjust measure and then plug in those numbers in the no tell you. Oh you're a b. Twenty two or if you just have a ruler you can measure obviously linked with a ruler circumference. A little bit hard to the ruler. An old school measuring tape new use for sowing would that. Yeah that would work. Just be really careful. You know we don't want people to cut themselves. It's a very sensitive part to cut yourself. I'm not talking about the metal ones. I'm talking about the old taylor tapes. They're they're right. Yeah yeah hopper. Yeah my mom used to help them course. Yeah that's really that's nice so bar your parents or your mother's whoever was the sewer in your little project and i borrow your sewing kennedy okay. Excellent and then they plug in the numbers and it shows which one is the bright for them and are these presume. These are ordered primarily online. Correct yeah okay. We're trying to figure out a way to bring it to retail stores. It's a little bit tricky because most stores aren't gonna sock sixty sizes. They don't have sixty sizes on that or even brands on the shelf. So we're thinking about something. It's the top ten sizes right to really give visibility and then you know where people can get a free fit kit from the shelf and then they can go home and measure and maybe we connect them that way to the retailer instead instead of coming to our website than push them to their site. So and why sixty sizes or sixty eight candidates sixty in the states and sixty six in canada. Why why those numbers. We've actually found that. That's not enough sizes which is interesting. Yeah so all. The sizes were based on david's original data from the eu when they launched with ninety five sizes. Then we help them. Pared-down two sons. I just didn't get purchased. Okay so now these kind of the most common sizes can you tell me the most commonly purchase size. There's a little bit of trends. Okay it's on a bell curve for example when it comes to length okay. The shorter sizes are more popular. And when it comes to length in general and then wider sizes for girth in general e fifty five is actually in our top three sellers as fifty five being our smallest size currently okay and then we get requests every single week for events smaller sizes. So we're really hoping that eventually we can help expand the size van and then are offering even further. 'cause they're certainly need and what's impeding you from expanding to smaller sizes right now are the regulations that correct. Yeah that require the air test and those other test you so in fact it is the tm. That's impeding some people having access to the condom sizes that are appropriate for their bodies. Yeah and it's not really. I don't want put blame and like a lot of people wanna play on the fda and things like that and it's not necessarily anybody anybody's fault it's just it's a lot of researchers and people who have done on this work to make sure that condoms are safe for consumers to use even bringing new condoms to market is really difficult because you have to do clinical trials and you have to make sure that they're safe ineffective so the good thing is for consumers that you're using products that have been tested for safety and are safe to use. But of course the tricky thing is that then people who need smaller sizes or white or sizes. We can't manufacture them. And we're just really kind of optimistic about the future because reading customer reviews of my absolute favorite thing to do at work is just hearing. What a true difference that makes in people's lives and when it comes to their sexual health and pleasure especially for people who found that condoms were too long or slipping off and what what incredible anxiety producing assume that it must be that everybody else is the size right right and a lot of people even in the reviews when we asked people to submit or review. They'll say like. I don't talk about this with my friends right no of size. But they don't really talk seriously. We don't talk that seriously about our bodies and in this body positively or body neutrality movement. Oftentimes folks with penises and penises in particular are left out. And all penises are good penis exactly shape the size whether there's hair at the base however curves. They're all good penises and certainly deserving of pleasure and capable of also providing pleasure to a partner. Who's in the mood as well exactly. And we just were so excited to actually have condoms that helped like actually reflect the actual range of pena sizes because even the activity that you mentioned earlier that a lot of educators do and. They're they're trying their best to show that you know. Condoms should fit everybody because it fits over my arm but really that leaves the people on the smaller smaller side than a standard condoms. Completely out of the conversation because we're only talking about people who might be complained about khanna's being too tight or too small because those are the people that often will come and say volkov more vocal.

00:40:06 - 00:42:00

Yeah about their students. Say oh the condoms are way too big for me man. But meanwhile that's a lot of people's real experience while if there sex educators listening this is a really important conversation. It's a mistake that i've made. And i made for us to do it to as a sex educator. Yeah absolutely so. We need to be mindful of the fact that there isn't a one size fits all approach anything insects and i that applies similarly to condoms so if people are interested in getting fit kit and if they're interested in purchasing or checking out you said there's a sample sample kit. Yeah to make sure that it fits. They can go to my one. Condoms dot com. Yes crtv thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me and thank you so much for listening a reminder again that your penis is just fine if you have a penis in your life. Let them know how fabulous they are. Perhaps we don't spend enough time complementing penises. And the bodies attached to penises. If they i mean i know not. Everyone wants physical compliments but you know as a as a woman we get a lot of compliments. And so maybe the penises would like some too so folks just a reminder that adam and eve has restarted the discount code dr jazz for fifty percents off almost any item in their store plus free shipping so definitely check out adam and eve dot com used that fifty percent off code dr jess and happy shopping. Oh and if you are looking to enhance the penis. I highly highly recommend akina. String and i know your favorite of courses that we vibe pivot but if you're newer to penis rings you want something. Maybe a little bit lower costs definitely do checkout adam and eve dot com because they have everything kind of across the board. And if you're new or maybe you just want to get like a more affordable one to begin with and see if it's your cup of tea thanks so much for being here. Thanks pave break. You have a great line folks. You're listening to the sex with dr jess podcast. Improve your sex life improve your life.